In raising a child, parents need to maintain a balance between patience and excessive indulgence.
If you want to raise a self-confident child who is able to make his own decisions, you need to give him the freedom to do so. The key to raising an independent child is maintaining balance. You should be patient, but not too lenient with the child. The problem is that some parents try to control their children’s every move. This should not be done, because in this way you deprive the child of the ability to make a choice. If you make your child dependent on you, he may harbor resentment and start rebelling in the future.
How to achieve the necessary balance and raise an independent child? Let’s consider some tips in this regard.
- Create a routine
Children need a balance between routine and freedom – this helps them develop independence. The more you let your child take care of himself, the more independent he will become.
- offer the child to put his clothes in the laundry basket and dress himself in the morning;
- let her choose her own breakfast dish and put food on her plate;
- leave the child’s cutlery, video books and clothes on a lower level so that they are always accessible to him.
- Develop the child’s problem-solving skills
If the child has any problems, do not try to solve them for him, let him find a way out of the situation on his own.
- conflicts with siblings are one of the most common problems in childhood;
- do not interfere: let the child find a solution to the problem on his own;
- Role playing is one of the most effective ways to develop conflict resolution skills.
- Failure is not the end
Failures are not scary. It is necessary to allow the child to make mistakes, no matter how difficult it may seem to you. She will learn important life lessons from her mistakes.
- for example, a child may not take homework seriously and face consequences at school;
- such a situation is simply part of the educational process, which reminds the child of the need to complete homework next time;
- do not scold the child if he spills milk while pouring it into a glass. Help her wipe up the spilled milk and tell her to be more careful next time.
- Show compassion
Your child needs to know that you care about him but want him to learn to solve his own problems.
- let her know that you will always be there, no matter what happens;
- let her know that you want her to solve conflicts on her own, and not seek help from the outside;
- encourage her independence, but don’t let it hurt her.
- Allow the child to show persistence
Give the child the opportunity to defend his rights. Here’s what you can do about it:
- when you go to a restaurant with your child, let her order food herself;
- encourage the child to decide what to wear before going out;
- ask her what she would like for dinner;
- let her make her own time to learn the lessons.
- Offer the child a reasonable choice
To teach your child to think for himself, give him smart choices.
- let her choose which of several dishes she wants for dinner;
- let her decide what she wants to do first: do homework or study;
- set limits for her. A child should know the limits of what is allowed and what parents expect from him.
- Offer ideas, but don’t interfere
If you see a child trying to find a solution to a problem, don’t try to help them right away. Instead, you can do the following:
- offer the child ideas on how to solve the problem, but do not step in to solve the problem for him;
- allow the child to find a way out of the situation;
- you may be pleasantly surprised to see how the child came up with an original solution.
- Allow the child to take responsibility
If you are going on a trip, let the child pack his things himself. The first few times you can show her how to do it right.
- allow the child to participate in the planning of the trip so that he feels independent;
- offer her to carry her things herself on the way to the station.
It may seem to you that the child develops independence too slowly. However, it is important that you guide your child at every stage of their development. Do everything so that she grows up to be a successful adult.